Someone in an atheist group asked, “Do you ever go to church/synagogue/mosque with family members (who know you are atheist) to make them happy? Have you ever done so before? Would you do so?”
I answered.
I have been to church a few times with my grandma since I became atheist at 18 years old (now I am 30). She is usually the only person in my family who brings up church, and to this day still asks me if I am planning to attend service for holidays like Easter. I don’t make a big deal about it because she’s always been a special person in my life.
I told her I didn’t believe in god when I was 23 and she took it fairly hard. She didn’t take it as bad as when my younger brother told her he wasn’t a believer years before I did. She had a screaming fit then. She toned down by the time I came around in sharing my views, though she did write me a letter saying she hoped I would find the Lord.
Since then she has convinced herself that I still believe. I don’t mind. I’ve always appreciated my grandma who would say, “You’re a good helper,” when I helped around the house when I was younger while visiting on weekends. Once she took me to see the circus, and other times she would have me help her plant tomatoes in her garden and fill water bowls for her two geese. A highlight while growing up was going to the trolley museum with my grandparents where we would ride old trains all day. I always felt she wanted her children and grand children to be successful, responsible and self-reliable, though she preferred a traditional approach.
As I’ve grown older I’ve become more appreciative for family that has been there for me. Sure, we’ve had occasional spats due to lifestyle preference and difference in religious views, but at the end of the day I acknowledge my family was there to support me, provide guidance and encourage me to do the best I can.
So when my grandma asks me to go to church, I go. It’s the least I can do. The churches she has attended have a more moderate approach to life that I can tolerate. Afterwards we go out for coffee or lunch, and I am happy that she is happy. I’m glad she has lived this long and I can still be in her company. To be quite honest, I’ve occasionally given thought to going to church voluntarily because it reminds me of my grandma.
Lauren Ell is an American blogger born and raised in Southern California and is currently based in Sweden. She discusses Epilepsy, Politics and Fun. Professionally Ell is an Online Marketing Consultant and Virtual Assistant. She is also founder and president of Republican Atheists. Connect with Lauren on Facebook and Twitter.