NOTE: This is not medical advice. If you have questions about your health be sure to contact your doctor. Also, keep in mind this commentary is based on the care of Swedish healthcare. Each country has its own methods of managing patients.
I became pregnant my first time when I was 31 years old with my longtime partner while living in Sweden. I know many women out there are in my shoes where they are pregnant yet know little to nothing about pregnancy, so I am sharing my experience here.
First, I somewhat planned for this pregnancy, but not completely. I took basic precaution in case I did become pregnant, for example, I made sure to check with my neurologist that the epileptic medicine I was taking was safe for pregnancy. I also made sure I was in a committed and loving relationship with someone I trusted, and was in a stable environment for a family, such as living in a house. However, my partner and I did not directly plan for the pregnancy, so it did come somewhat as a surprise, granted, a happy surprise. We had discussed having children in the past and were welcoming to the idea.
One of the first symptoms that made me question change in my body was suddenly randomly burping. I would burp out of no where. Burping occurred through my entire pregnancy. I then started noticing my breasts were sore and would throw up in the evening. I purchased a pregnancy test from a near-by pharmacy and results showed positive. My partner and I were surprised and excited at the same time.
I figured I had been pregnant for approximately four to six weeks based on the symptoms I had been having, so I waited a few more weeks to see the maternity nurse at the nearest hospital. I read online that normally the doctor cannot do much until a woman is eight weeks pregnant, when the fetus is more developed and a heart beat can be detected. Additionally it is more common for miscarriage to occur within the first few weeks of pregnancy, so waiting until eight weeks is recommended.
I started to have blood discharge around six weeks, which alarmed me because I had read blood discharge can be a sign of miscarriage. Eventually I went to the maternity nurse and did another pregnancy test, and it showed positive still. Apparently blood discharge can also just be a result of the uterus eliminating waste. Around this time I also started having food aversions, which are said to be fairly common during early stages of pregnancy. For weeks I did not want to eat anything other than tortilla chips and salsa.
Around nine or ten weeks I had an ultrasound done and it showed a small fetus that appeared in human form wriggling around in my stomach. It looked like some strange fish at the dark depths of the ocean. The doctor took various screenshots and zoomed in on it, and noted everything looked normal. I was primarily concerned about the development of the fetus because I was taking epileptic medicine that was said to be the safest medication for pregnancy, but still presented a slightly higher risk of abnormalities occurring compared to women not taking medication.
I did blood tests for blood sugar level and nutrient levels. Normal results came in. At the recommendation of the maternity nurse, I began taking a vitamin supplement specifically for pregnant women. It is important that pregnant women maintain ideal nutrient levels because it contributes to healthy development of the fetus. My maternity nurse later noted she was amazed my iron level remained adequate throughout the pregnancy, and said most patients need an additional iron supplement.
My partner and I were originally planning to go on vacation in July, when I would have been approximately six to seven months pregnant. The more I thought about this vacation time, though, the more I felt it would be better to travel during earlier stages of pregnancy. Thankfully he was able to get time off in April, when I was approximately three months pregnant. We were in the US for nearly four weeks and went on an extended road trip without problems. I had more energy and stomach was not so big during the earlier stages of my pregnancy.
Once I was well into my second trimester I was so glad I traveled earlier! When I returned from vacation a month later in May I started getting bigger and more hungry. I wouldn’t say I had “cravings,” but I would certainly have hunger attacks throughout the day and need to snack more often. I began taking snacks, like nuts and crackers, with me everywhere because I would feel hungry all of a sudden. Being hungry while pregnant is not as funny as what some women make it seem – I actually felt annoyed with how often I had to eat and would snap at my partner if I was in a hunger mode.
The third trimester was the most difficult time for me for obvious reasons. My stomach became bigger and it became more difficult for me to do normal things, like stand up and sit down, walk, or lay down. A few times I had excruciating cramps in my right leg that were so painful that I would be locked in agony for a few minutes as I tried to stretch my leg to reduce pain. One time a cramp was so bad that my muscle was sore for days and I limped. Sleeping was also difficult because I had to sleep on my sides. It is recommended after 20 weeks that a pregnant woman not sleep on her back because oxygen supply to the baby can be suppressed. Sometimes I would feel pain on both the left and right side while I was sleeping because of pressure. Occasionally I would get up in the middle of the night because I could not sleep.
Around week 31 I attempted to fit in a short road trip to Norway because I knew it would be my last time to travel for some time, but I had such a hard time sleeping the night before leaving that I decided to cancel the trip. I do not like traveling while tired, I consider it to be a waste of money. Plus I knew I would have more hunger and be spending more money on food, which, Norway is not a cheap country when it comes to travel and dining.
Since I am fairly tall, my stomach became bigger at later stages of pregnancy compared to shorter women who obtain larger stomachs in earlier stages. I didn’t having a noticeable baby bump until I was closer to the third trimester. The maternity nurse said this is because my body had more room for the baby to be “inside” rather than having to protrude out.
I began feeling contractions at week 33, which felt like subtle period cramps. I would also hear a strange snapping sound occasionally, like the knuckle of a finger cracking, and have read there is no real knowledge of what exactly that sound is. Baby movement was a regular feeling when sitting down, and it would actually be uncomfortable sometimes when sitting upright because the baby would press against my ribs.
Based on recommendations of the maternity nurse and Youtube moms, I packed a hospital bag with basic necessities I would need while in the hospital, such as hygiene products, clothes, and snacks. Sometimes mother and baby can be released to go home within less than 24 hours of birth, but sometimes can be in the hospital for three days or more, so it is good to have commonly used products on hand to be comfortable while in the hospital.
I had noticeable contractions a week before my due date and wondered if it was time to go to the hospital, but I decided to lay down and see if the contractions went away, and they did. I did not feel many contractions during the next week. A few days after my due date passed my water broke. I got out of bed early in the morning and all of a sudden water began gushing all over the place and wouldn’t stop. Oh my goodness, I thought finally the time had come and felt so scared! I had never felt so scared before in my life. I was trembling!
My partner called the hospital and the nurse said to go to to the hospital when contractions begin, but if they don’t start within six hours then go to the hospital just to make sure everything was okay. I am so glad I did not have to go to the hospital right away because I then had time to take a shower and calm down. The contractions didn’t start within six hours so we went to the hospital and a nurse checked that the baby was okay and that I had no infection since the water broke. She said everything looked fine, and that if contractions did not start within three days then I would have to be induced. I was also told to come in every day to make sure I did not have an infection.
That night I began having contractions again that felt similar to the contractions I had a week before, except they became more frequent. I began writing down the times every time I had a contraction, and eventually began to see a pattern of how often they were occurring. When they started happening every few minutes my partner and I got in the car with my hospital bag and arrived at the hospital around 1 in the morning.
A nurse checked me and said the birth process had definitely begun, but that my uterus was only 2 centimeters dilated and would not be admitted until it was 4 centimeters. My partner and I checked in at the hospital hotel since we were not going to drive a half hour back home. Once checked into the room I could not sleep at all because I was in so much pain. After a couple hours the pain became overwhelming, so we went back to the hospital and the nurse said I would be admitted.
My partner and I were taken to a room with a bed and was given a hospital pajama dress to wear. I decided to wear a robe and pajama pants I had brought instead because it was more comfortable. The nurse said I could breathe in gas through a gas mask to help reduce pain during contractions. She said I should try to rest as much as I could in order to have energy during the delivery, and then she left the room. The contractions gradually became worse and I would breathe through the mask every time the pain returned. I stopped keeping track of time and laid on my side in silent agony.
Eventually a nurse came in and I asked for the epidural to reduce the pain, and she said she will tell the doctor. Time went by and the doctor never appeared. I never demanded a nurse to come back, I just laid there and dealt with the pain. At that point I didn’t care how ridiculous I looked, and my partner stood by my bedside telling me when a contraction was starting. A machine was hooked up to me that showed when contractions were occurring. Eventually I felt a new feeling that was a pushing sensation. My partner ran and told the nurse about how I was feeling.
Soon the doctor and nurse came in and said they were going to install the epidural. I had to stay laying on my back and hold still while the doctor inserted a needle into my spine. Eventually he and the nurse left, and within twenty minutes the pain subsided. The nurse came back and I asked how dilated I was, and she said 9 centimeters. I said really?! I was able to handle the pain up to 9 centimeters? Why was I given the epidural so late, and why was I given the epidural at all? She answered that I seemed calm while the contractions were occurring (which, despite the pain feeling like hell, I admit I was calm). She also mentioned that the epidural could have prolonged the time to delivery because it relaxes the body which ultimately slows down the birth. She noted it is good to have the epidural towards the end because it would allow me to rest and have energy for delivery, rather than be exhausted after hours of contractions.
By now the pain was practically non-existent. I was having contractions but I could not feel them, and I was talking to my partner and nurse like it was just another day. Eventually I became 10 centimeters dilated and the nurse had to do some changes to the epidural so I could feel the contractions. Eventually I started to push the baby out and I could feel pain but it was no where near as bad as I thought it would be. The nurse kept giving encouragement, and so did my partner (I gave him permission to look down there), which helped the delivery go much faster. Altogether the delivery took a half hour which was quick according to the nurse, some women can take hours. The overall time for the birth process was approximately 8 hours.
After a certain point the baby came out really fast and was immediately placed on my chest. She was screaming. After a few minutes a doctor came in and she was taken to a table off to the side for him to look at her. Afterward I learned she appeared blue in color which is a sign of low oxygen levels, but the doctor said everything appeared normal. I later read that a baby screaming right after birth is a positive sign that oxygen intake is occurring.
I had talked to my sister who had her first birth in the US a couple years ago and she mentioned the nurse told her to go to the hospital right away after her water broke and she was in the hospital for about 18 hours. I was so glad that Sweden’s system does not work that way because I would have certainly been really stressed in the car ride and would have been in the hospital much longer. Being able to stay home until contractions started allowed me to get through part of the birth process in a comfortable environment rather than having to be sterile in a hospital room.
My partner and I stayed at the hospital for two days while we adjusted to caring for our new baby. We were taken to a room with two beds and given a small mat for the baby to sleep on. Occasionally a nurse would come to the room and offer direction on breastfeeding and general care for the baby. My partner and I felt we had a grasp of caring for the baby and asked to go home early, but our nurse strongly recommended that we stay the full two days because there was a possibility that the baby could get a fever which can escalate quickly. We decided to stay, especially since the baby had a final doctor appointment the next day before we could go home.
At the final doctor appointment the doctor said everything checked out normal and that we could go home. We went back to our room to gather our belongings and the nurse came back to offer final advice. I asked for more tips on breastfeeding. The nurse took the baby and placed her on a pillow in a leaned back position close to my breast. While the nurse turned away for a moment I noticed the baby suddenly began flailing her arms and turning red. I didn’t know what was happening. The nurse turned around and took the baby and placed her facing down on her palm so she could pat her back with the other hand. The baby continued to flail and the nurse patted her back harder, and suddenly snot came out of the baby’s nose. Oh my goodness my heart sunk as I realized the baby had been suffocating! The nurse immediately took the baby to a doctor to make sure she was fine, and the doctor said there wasn’t a problem. I was so scared to think the baby could have died. For days after she was born we could hear congestion in her nostrils and asked nurses about it, but they said it was normal since there is fluid in the baby’s body from birth. I wish someone would have cleared out her nasal passages and prevented such a problem!
We put our baby in her new car seat and returned home.
Lauren Ell is an American blogger born and raised in Southern California and is currently based in Sweden. She discusses Epilepsy, Politics and Fun. Professionally Ell is an Online Marketing Consultant and Virtual Assistant. She is also founder and president of Republican Atheists and Nordic Republicans. Connect with Lauren on Facebook and Twitter.